James versus The Apocalypse By Bill Browning Hi! This is River City movie critic, and regular contributor to The James and Jennifer Project, Bilfon. Kids, if you are looking for a summer movie that will make you run the gamut, from tittering to full-on guffaws, look no further than Seth Rogen’s and Evan Goldberg’s This is the End. Turn off your cellphones and settle back, because this film, currently in a theater near you, has everything! Pistols, raging fires, well-endowed demons, Seth Rogen, a chocolate bar, GARDEN GNOMES! (Bilfon puts hands up, covers his mouth.) And if that’s not enough for you, it’s got Craig Robinson, car crashes, sinkholes, a bootylicious Rihanna, and yes yes yes yes yes JAMES FRANCO! Your eyes will feast on brutal beheadings, demon possessions, THE HORSE FROM THE CRAIG FERGUSON SHOW! (Here Bilfon does some shoulder shaking and giggling.) And going for a piss or popcorn at any point during this movie could result in you missing a molested Jonah Hill, rapturous blue lights, low-tech porn, a coked out Michael Cera, Segways, angels, sleepovers, Danny McBride, a Jonah Hill-hating Jay Baruchel, dick art, the Backstreet Boys, an ax-wielding Emma Watson, OBAMA IN PAJAMAS! (Bilfon’s eyebrows shoot up for dramatic effect.) To read more film reviews on the Great Works of James Franco and Jennifer Aniston, visit The James & Jennifer Project.
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